Skip to main content

Midnight Blahs.

It's Valentine's Day! Is this the reason why I'm still wide awake? It's past midnight and I am blogging. My eyes are tired but I couldn't sleep. I tried closing my eyes and putting myself to sleep but apparently, I did not succeed! It's crazy because I am once again trying to get used to something. :/ This is definitely going to be more difficult than before. Life can be such a joke. Bad joke. But then again, I know I should be thankful. I prayed so hard for it and my prayer got answered. It just so happened that it was a short lived kind of bliss. I know, I know! I should just shut up and be thankful because one of my prayers got answered.. But I guess that's really how people are? Always asking for more? Or is it just me? 
Were there ever times in your life that you felt both extreme happiness and sadness at the same time? I know this might sound crazy, but this is how I'm feeling right now. I am so happy, I am overwhelmed by happiness but at the same time, there's this sadness inside me which I couldn't contain as well. I'm happier yet sadder. Does that make sense to you? I would often ask myself why I have to go through this. Why can't I just enjoy pure happiness? Why does it always have to come with sadness? How can something so happy, so blissfully happy, has to end so soon.
Whenever I'm feeling too sad, too depressed and too confused about what is happening with my life, there would be those times when I'd wish I'm a different person. There would be times when I'd think what my life would be if I were born in a different time, in a different place. If I happened to be born in a different place or time, would I still get this chance of being this happy? Would the reason of my happiness and sadness still be the same? But then I would come to my senses and try to convince myself that this too shall pass.
There are always so many questions in mind. Questions with answers that I already know but still couldn't stop asking. No matter how many times I ask myself these questions, I would still give myself the same answers. I would always get at that point when I would just let out a deep sigh because really, that just how it is. Right now, I cannot do anything about it. Well, honestly, there is something I could do, but I know that if I do, the result will not be in my favor. I am scared that if I make a move, things wouldn't go my way. Just thinking about how things wouldn't go how I wanted it to be makes me feel so devastated. Everything must go according to plan. 
I may not make sense to you. You may not understand this, I am not expecting you to. I wish I could write all the things running in my mind, but you know, some things are better off unsaid -- unwritten in this case. Some of the most crucial things are those that you cannot blog about, those are things that are better kept between yourself and the people that are most important to you. 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, everyone! :)

Comments

AVA T.♥ said…
I hope whatever you're going through right now or feeling that you find the "bliss" you're finally looking for. :)
jonathan said…
There will always be moments of happiness but shrouded with sadness at the same time. What was good was that you acknowledged your feelings and that you seek not for an explanation, but a reassurance that things will be fine. Best of all, you shared something that was bothering you. Good luck Ishna!
aboutambot said…
You are right. Like Valentines, "this" too shall pass. See? It's already Friday today!
Ishna said…
Thank you, Jonathan! I'm doing my best to always stay positive.
Ishna said…
Hahaha! Thanks, aboutambot! Can't wait for 'this' to pass.
CutestPrincess said…
i feel the same way, before... but now, I'm happily with my own family. :)

It’s a GIRL Thing
I love what you say "some things are better off unsaid". Happy ♥'s day everyday!
i hope you'll get all the answers you're looking for Ish, so you'll have a peaceful mind. all the best. xx
Ishna said…
Aww... Thank you, Chrissy. So sweet of you to say that!
Ishna said…
Thank you, Christeen!

Popular posts from this blog

Magalawa Island in Zambales - 2016

To kick off Philippines' Summer 2016, we headed to Magalawa Island in Palauig, Zambales. Travel time from Manila is more or less 5 hours, depending on your stop overs if you go there by a private car. Boat ride to Magalawa was quick. I think it was between 10-15 minutes.
I did my research before going to the island. And yes, I have read about the feud between the two resorts in the island, Armada and Ruiz. The person in charge for reservation first inquired at Armada but they were fully booked already.  Since I did my research, I knew that I shouldn't expect much. I was looking forward to it, but definitely, I had my expectations set!
So, we arrived at Ruiz, the staff are really nice. People are really helpful and kind. As for the shoreline at resort, I was not disappointed because, like what I have said, I knew what we're going to see. It would have been really better if there were no seaweeds. The water is really clear but the seaweeds are really annoying!  I enjoyed st…

The Neutrals & Nudes (MAC Siss, Yash, Mocha, Taupe)

I took these photos of the lipsticks months ago, but apparently, I would always end up not posting it. Here I am again, drafting an entry but unlike last time, this is not going to be a failed attempt! So let's start!
Lipsticks are my favorite make up! It's the easiest to apply, the most convenient to bring and that make up that can easily give you a transformation from daytime to night time look! My make up kit which I bring to work everyday has a lot of lipsticks in it. I do not even know why I carry a lot of lipstick with me always, but that's how girls are! We bring all the make ups that we can (or is it just me?)!
These are four of the liptsicks that I tend to carry with me everyday. Well, I do not change lipstick every 3 hours, but I like bringing them because I love mixing them lippies! :D


LA Matte Pigment Gloss - Fleur

I think I have mentioned a lot of times how I am a matte kind of girl. I have been seeing a lot of people posting and raving about the LA Matte Pigment for more or less a year now. I was really hesitant to try it because I had an impression that it would be like the NYX Soft Matte Lip Creams which I didn't really like.
What made me decide to finally give it a try is when I saw one of my officemates wearing it. It looked really pigmented and I noticed how it has a long lasting effect! There is a stall near my work place which sells the brand so I bought one. I forgot how much exactly did I but it for, but I'm sure it's not more than 350php.

I decided to get Fleur. I was initially thinking of getting Dreamy because I loved it so much when I swatched it but I got talked into getting Fleur because the staff told me that it looks better on me! Lol.
It's really pigmented and I can vouch for its staying power! It doesn't have a weird smell, too so plus points again! It&#…