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You gain some, you lose some.

Let's admit it, one of the reasons why a girl loses self confidence is because she doesn't like what she's seeing whenever she faces the mirror. There are so many feel good aphorisms about loving yourself no matter what, but sometimes, those just don't work. Sometimes, what a girl see in the mirror overpowers even the most beautiful and inspiring quote there is. If that isn't the case for you, then lucky you! 

As for me, the more weight I gained, the more confidence I lost. One of the reasons why I haven't been blogging and why I haven't really going out with some of my friends is because I gained weight. I gained weight and I don't feel confident about my body anymore. I don't like my friends to see how much weight I've gained! I mean, whenever I ran out of stuff to blog, I resort to posting an #OOTD entry, but I can't do that anymore. I don't get to wear some of my favorite dresses now and I was not able to wear two-piece bikini this summer. It sucks because I know that there is no one to blame but me, I know the reasons why I gained so much and I know exactly what to do to lose all these excess weight but here I am, blogging AND eating double chocolate cupcake -- at 1:00AM. Great, just great.

I decided to post an entry about this because, maybe --just maybe, when I finally acknowledge the fact that I already gained so much and I haven't been doing what I need to do, I'd finally go to the next step.. To start eating healthy and do some exercise. I need to do something about this!

Calaguas Island
Aaaaah. I want to cryyy! Some people whom I just met would be so surprised if they see this photo. HAHA. I used to have the guts and the (uhm, forgive me for the lack of term) body to wear this kind of swimwear.  I don't gain so much weight before. :( Losing weight wasn't an issue. I could eat anything that I wanted and I used to never complain about me having to wear body shaper. I could go on 3-5 day crash diet and my little weight gain would be solved. But it's a completely different story now. It is so difficult to lose weight and it is much more difficult to say no to food!

From bikini top to rash guard! HAHA
This summer season, I wore rash guard! HAHAHAHA. I wore rash guard not because I was afraid to get rashes but because I needed a proper swimwear and I don't have the guts to wear a bikini. HAHA.I didn't even have any photo taken because I was still in DENIAL.

Baguio Feb2014
So February this year, I was blessed enough to be go to Baguio for the second time. I love Baguio, and I would've loved to take self portraits but I did not because I hated how big I looked in the photos. I am not used to seeing myself in photos like this. 

Most recent whole body photo
Believe me when I say that this is the most flattering photo that I took. I don;t look as big as I look in person. HAHA! All the other photos were deleted because I didn't like it. I used to post #ootds on Instagram but I stopped because, well for the nth time, I don't feel confident anymore.

My #OOTD posts used to be like this.
FROM THIS (8months ago)
And then NOW....


Crazy right. So from now on, I will do my very best to lose these extra pounds that I gained! I used to be 54kgs and not I'm almost 63kgs. What the heck, right? This has got to stop. This better stop. I know I cannot do this overnight, but I eventually will. Slowly, I will. One step at a time. Wish me luck! :-)


Angie Vianzon said…
I still love you, fat or not :)
Ishna said…
Aww. Thanks, Anj! :*
Shayne ♥ said…
hay sis i can relate so much with what you're going through. i also had a fast metabolism and i didnt gain noticable weight even when i eat a lot BEFORE. but its changing now, i gained weight recently, some of my old clothes dont look flattering na on me, and that made me very insecure. anywayz im also trying to change my lifestyle, you might like to read the book by cameron diaz - The Body Book - its surprisingly good. i might do a blog post on it soon cause its effective in changing my mindset about food and fitness :D
Tatiana K. said…
you ve so nice blog!
i follow you now, follow me please?
Rinako Camellia said…
Such a great post! ♡´・ᴗ・`♡
Thank you for your nice comment on my blog! Following you back on GFC!
Keep in touch! ♡

❤ ✿ NEW POST ✿ ❤
Anonymous said…
wanna be my gym buddy? :) Ar-Ar
Bernadeth G. said…
wow such a lovely post! great job x

Visit my blog? xx Miss Beatrix (
Ishna said…
Hay nako. Metabolism slows down as we get older talaga. It's just so sad na I dont get to wear some of my favorite dresses already.

Thanks for the recommendation! Im gonna look for that book. :)
Ishna said…
Thanks, Tatiana! I'll follow you back. :)
Ishna said…
Thanks, Rina! And thanjs for the followback!
Ishna said…
Beks, I wish we live close to each other hahaha I'm thinking of swimming as ny exercise. Para naeenjoy ko pa rin haha
Ishna said…
I sure will. Thanks, Bernadeth!
We're in the same dilemma sis hehehe, but on the bright side even though you're gaining weight, you still look pretty! This is a ver inspiring post! i miss reading your blog, hope to read more from you soon ;)

love lots,
MITCH said…
Makes me can't wait for Summer! Love the pictures!

hope you have an amazing weekend!

Galya said…
Lovely photos, this place looks amazing! Would you like to follow eachother? Just let me know and I will follow you right back!
Ishna said…
Thanks, Christine! I am so back and I've finally got my blogging mojo back! ;)
Ishna said…
Thank you, Mitch! Wishing you the same, too.
Ishna said…
Thanks, Galya! I will check out your blog and will let you know.
MITCH said…
I'm following you back. Let's keep in touch xo
It sucks how your metabolism slows down as you go along, I hope you find a diet and exercise routine that works for you! I do a lot of power walking at home :) you can try it too! its a low intensity work out that requires little space with no equipment. Posted a link to it somewhere in my blog <3 goodluck!
Jenn said…
Weight gain is a battle that many people have to overcome everyday. Remember that you are not alone. If you don't feel good about yourself, I suggest you seek advise and help from someone you know can help you. But first, you have to admit that you do have a problem. My manager used to weight almost 200lbs but she is now down to 135lbs in 6 months. It was a struggle for her at first but she overcame the hurdles and she is now happier than ever. It may take a while to see results but with perseverance and determination, you will overcome your problems. I am rooting for you, Ishna! You can do it! :)

The Pink Lemonade Girl
Nice post!

xx Mounia
Ishna said…
Yay! Thanks, Mitch!:) Talk to you again, soon.
Ishna said…
Hi Angel! Thank you for the advice. One of the reasons why I gained so much weught is because I've been eating a lot and I don't get to even do long brisk walking.
Ishna said…
Thank you so much Jenn! I can always feel the sincerity when you comment!:)

I am trying my very best to lessen my food intake, especially the unhealthy ones. And as for the excercise part, I'm still figuring out which will work for me best. Basta ngayon, if I can walk naman to get somewhere, I walk na lang. Lalo na if hindi naman mainit. ;)
Ishna said…
Thank you, Mounia
Elle said…
Same happened to me! I too lost my confidence when this happened to me but I still got the people I love and care. All we have to do now is eat in moderation and move more. :) Di ka nag iisa! :)
Rebecca said…
I am so sorry you lost your confidence! I sure hope you get back to your normal self and you continue to blog. Weight gain is such a hard thing to get past but I know if you put your mind to it you can overcome it! Just take it one day at a time! :)

Christine Uy said…
Hey Ish! Aww.. i was wondering why you're not posting as much. I was so happy to see your comment on my blog! It's sad to say that we have such an ugly society that people frown upon girls who are not size 0, especially in Asia. Living here in NZ, I noticed such a big difference in the society, sure there are still some mean people who are super judgement, but not like in Philippines where everyone criticize you because of what you look like, even if you're not even fat! Actually if you ask me, you have a healthy weight, it's normal size, not even big but not too small.. but Asian society, especially in Phil. thinks that sexy means full of bones and no meat, which is such a false mentality! That's why so many girls are starving themselves which is such a bad idea because it's messes up the metabolism. If they do crash diets, they'll gonna gain the weight they loose twice as much because the body needs fuel to break down fat which is found in food. Sadly we can't do anything about our ugly society, but don't put yourself down too hard, Ish.

Always put your health first, if you want to get slim and healthy, do the proper exercise and healthy eating not yo-yo diets. It will help you in the long run and gives you the perfect metabolism. :) Coz we will come to the age when crash diets won't work anymore, living healthy is the only way to maintain the weight we want. Stay strong Ish, I know you can rise above it! :)

Take care always, love Christine ~ xo
Stephanie G said…
Girl your still fab even if you gained weight :) dont let it get you down..
Laviña Jampit said…
I can relate to you girl but my problem is that ang hina ng metabolism ko! hahaay ;'( hehe.. :)

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